Chapter 15: The Starboy and The Man Of Sin

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The caravan moved again at first light.

No one spoke of the soldiers. At least, not where Enel could hear them. Or perhaps they did, and he simply could not hear them anymore.

That was the part bothering him.

The world still sounded sharper than it had before. Wheels creaked, horses snorted, birds called from the sparse trees, and Tiny’s stomach growled loudly enough that Enel glanced at him several times. But none of it was like the night before.

He could not hear every heartbeat anymore. He could not hear the soldiers’ blood pounding beneath their lies. He could not hear the little scratches inside the walls or the whispers beneath sleep.

And so, after almost an hour of sitting quietly, Enel turned and stared at Tiny’s chest.

Tiny stared back, covering his chest like a girl.

“M’lord… why are you looking at me like that?”

“I am trying to hear your heart.”

Tiny’s face changed. “You... can do that, M'lord?”

"I could last night."

Enel leaned closer, his brows lowering in concentration. Tiny slowly leaned away until his back hit the side of the cart. For several seconds, Enel heard only the wooden wheels, the horses, the creaking axles, Ulf shifting in his seat, and the faint hiss of wind moving through the grass.

There was... nothing.

“I confess, Tiny. I cannot hear it,” Enel said at last.

"Ha!" Ulf clapped. "Maybe the boy doesn't have a heart to be heard of, M'lord."

"If I didn't have a heart, I'd be dead. You really are a half-wit."

"Wha—You're the half-wit! A sod."

Once again, their cart was the noisiest of the caravan. The people they were with, however, no longer seem to mind at all—they'd already gotten used to it. And with what happened last night, with how Enel showed those rowdy soldiers their place, they were in an incredibly good mood.

The hours passed again, the road growing warmer as the sun above them was no longer hampered by a canopy of leaves.

"Tch..." Ulf raised his palm at the sun. "Praise the mighty Sulyr for this bastard of a heat."

Soon, the land opened into wide stretches of yellow grass and dry soil. The heat was scalding, and the strong winds weren't helping at all.

"Woah..." One thing Enel did notice, however, was that the spirits were moving freely here. There were hundreds of them, all running across the fields with their minuscule feet. But once again, as all spirits do, they merged into their elements below.

Because far in the distance, something enormous moved between the hills.

"Ah!" Enel stood so quickly the cart dipped. Tiny did the same, almost falling over Ulf’s leg.

“What is that?” they both asked at once.

Ulf followed their fingers and smiled. The creature was larger than any beast Enel had ever seen, with legs like towers and a long nose that swayed as it walked. Two curved tusks glinted beneath the sun, and a flock of birds moved around its back... or at least they looked like birds. They were probably something bigger.

“That,” Ulf said, “is a Mountainhorn.”

“That's... a mountainhorn,” Enel whispered. "I have only ever seen them in books."

Tiny’s eyes turned wide. “Can it be eaten?”

"I do not believe that is a good idea," Enel said, still quite in awe as the behemoth almost blocked out the sun. "They are believed to be children of the Urthmother—even harming them would be blasphemous. They are divine beasts already walking our lands during the time of his First King, Aldwyn."

Ulf shook his head. "That is not the reason why no one hunts or kills them, M'lord."

"Hm?"

"I have witnessed one die during my travels. And with its death came the calamity."

"What happened?" Tiny moved closer to Enel.

"Scavengers. Beasts. Thousands upon thousands of them all came, mowing through the poor settlements which happened to be along their path to feast on the fallen behemoth."

"Oh..."

The conversation quickly died after that.

Enel watched the mountainhorn continue on, completely unconcerned by everything around it. It looked as if it wasn't moving from a distance at all, but he could see the beast moving its legs. Even after almost an hour, the mighty beast was still in sight.

One could wonder how large it truly was. But like the beast, their journey went on.

Not quietly and unobstructed, of course. Enel was there.

"Be careful on your way now, my lady."

"Oh, my..."

Enel made the caravan stop because an old lady had dropped a sack of grain from her cart—an old lady who came out of nowhere from the empty fields.

"You do know that was a witch, right?" Ulf said.

"She was?" Enel's eyes widened, and Tiny covered his ears. "She did not look like it."

"Boy, she was wearing darkness and could poke you from how large her nose was."

Next, they passed by a small hamlet. He spotted two children walking barefoot on the side of the road and gave them the bread they'd left over from the inn.

Tiny complained, of course, but he could do nothing.

Later, the wheel broke on the wagon in front of them. Erik shouted to leave them behind, but Enel lifted the entire wagon until they reached a better place to repair it.

Everyone there already knew who he was. But now, they were greeting him with familiarity.

The enigmatic young lord of Widow's Wall. Virtuous to a fault, and doesn't think twice to help those in need.

And as the sun once again lowered and they began to set up their tents, a lot more of the caravan passed by them and greeted Enel.

They made camp away from the road, next to a large boulder, which they used to create a wall, along with their carts pulled into a circle. And here, completely away from any settlements, the stars scattered across like spilled salt.

Enel sat by a small fire with Tiny and Ulf. Tiny was eating something again, and Ulf sat across from them, turning a cup between his hands.

For a while, the three only listened to the cinders crack.

Then Ulf suddenly snorted.

“What?” Tiny asked, mouth full.

“Just thinking about that barmaid.”

"I have been meaning to ask that." Enel pointed at him. “I believe there ought to be something amiss with her?”

"You—" Ulf stared at him, and even Tiny slowly lowered his bowl.

“Yes. She asked if I wanted company. I told her I did not require anything.”

Tiny covered his mouth. Ulf’s shoulders began to shake.

"Perhaps I was rude to her?" Enel frowned. “I hope I did not offend her. I think she might have been lonely."

“No,” Ulf said, voice strained. “No, M’lord. I think you wounded her pride, maybe. But not offended.”

“Pride? She said she wished to warm my bed. My bed was warm enough.”

"That is not what that meant, M'lord."

"Whatever does it mean, then?"

"It means..."

"What?" Enel looked between them. “But isn't laying what parents do? Why would anyone wish to lie with someone they just met?"

Ulf could no longer hold it in. He laughed so hard he had to place his cup down before he spilled it.

“You,” he said, pointing at Enel, “have a lot to learn.”

"So does she, apparently."

That only made Ulf laugh harder. Tiny laughed too, though he kept glancing at Enel as if unsure whether he was allowed. Enel did not understand what was funny, but seeing the two of them laugh made the tightness in his chest loosen a little.

The laughter slowly faded, and the fire crackled between them.

Once again, for a while, no one spoke. Then Tiny wiped his mouth with his sleeve and looked at Ulf.

“Why are you joining the war? You keep giving away coin even though you have no more—I know this, I checked. So it is not for pay.”

Ulf’s smile remained for a moment, but only for a moment.

“I told you,” he said. “To shut the voices up inside my head. And wait—what do you mean you were checking my coins?”

Ulf looked at him, but Tiny didn't look away this time.

"I've heard you, you know," Tiny said. "You whisper in your sleep."

"Why are you so perceptive?" Ulf scoffed, then stared into the fire. He grabbed a patch of dirt, then dropped it. "I came to die."

Tiny let out a small gasp. He glanced at Enel, who lowered his head.

Enel sighed. “To die in battle is a great…”

A sad smile tugged at Ulf's lips when he noticed Enel's hesitation. “War doesn't sound so pretty now. Does it, M'lord? We're not even in the battle yet."

Enel didn't respond to that, and instead looked at the fire himself.

“Why do you wish to die?” he asked.

Ulf rubbed both hands over his face. “Because I am full of sin, M’lord.”

Tiny shifted slightly.

"The children," he whispered. "You always whisper them. Did... you have children, Ulf?"

"No. Gods, no," Ulf quickly scoffed, shaking his head as his voice soon broke. "I... I am the last person deserving to have... to..."

Tiny squinted, then his eyes turned wider as they snapped at Ulf. “What... did you do?”

Ulf became quiet. He glanced at Enel, then back at Tiny—then at the fire once more.

“I used to be a brigand," he then said, the fire cracking louder along with his words.

"You... robbed people?" Tiny blinked.

"No..." Ulf's lips quivered. He covered his face once more, as if ashamed to be seen. "We raided small settlements in the east. Hamlets, farms... shrines. We pillaged. Took what we wanted. Burned what we didn’t.”

"What?" Tiny leaned away from him.

Enel’s voice was quiet. “You are using war to punish yourself.”

Ulf’s jaw tightened.

“There is honor in seeking punishment for sin, Ulf,” Enel said. "The Sovereign will forgive you. The Law of Amendment states that—"

"No!" Ulf raised his voice, biting his lip hard enough that blood darkened the skin. "N-no..."

Tears began to form in his eyes.

“No, M’lord. Don’t give me that.” Ulf’s hand trembled as he reached for his cup, but he did not drink. He only held it.

“I've hurt people,” Ulf said. “Women.”

Tiny stood up at those words, his breath twisting along with his face as he stared down at Ulf.

"I've... taken women away from their families. And did..." Ulf closed his eyes. "I've hurt children."

"Children..." Tiny whispered, slowly realizing the meaning of the words Ulf utters in his sleep.

“Children younger than you,” Ulf continued. “Smaller.”

"Ulf..." Tiny’s fists curled.

"I..." Ulf closed his eyes, letting the tears trail down his cheeks. “I killed them with my hands. In... in front of their mothers. Travelers, too. I think... I think some of them may have been from Widow's Wall.”

The fire crackled even louder, and then, for a moment, the whole camp seemed to disappear.

There was only the fire, and the three of them around it.

Tiny looked at Ulf in disgust.

“You’re a monster,” he whispered.

“I know." Ulf wiped the snot from his nose, nodding vehemently. "It—"

"Were they sick?" Enel asked before Ulf could say more.

Ulf looked at him, but Enel wasn't looking at him at all, only at the fire.

"They... weren't," he answered.

“Were they carrying disease? Would they have killed others if left alive?”

Ulf stared at him once more, then slowly shook his head.

“No.”

Enel’s hands were on his knees.

“Did they have weapons?”

“No.”

“Were they already dying?” Enel’s voice trembled. “Was it mercy?”

Ulf closed his eyes again.

“No.”

Enel’s breath paused, and tears also began to gather in his eyes so quickly that it caused Tiny to whimper beside him, too.

“W-why?” Enel muttered, his voice trembling along with his hands. "Why, then?"

Ulf’s mouth opened, but nothing came out at first.

“I was young,” Ulf said eventually. “Cruel. Empty. I had no purpose, no god I feared, no lord I respected. It was... It was all I've ever known. We... we were worse than the barbarians our lands are waging war on."

Tiny was wiping his face now, though whether from anger or tears, even he did not seem to know.

“And it was... easy,” Ulf whispered, scrunching his hair. “I did it again, and again. I... I enjoyed it."

"You..." Enel’s tears fell freely, and he gripped his cape tight. "You shouldn't have said that. Why... why do you have to say that? Why... why did you have to say it? Now I have to..."

"I... don't know." Ulf continued, his voice cracking even harder now.

“But then, something in me just... snapped. I finally saw what I was. What I've done." Ulf shook his head. "I ran away. I left that life. I became an adventurer, and I tried to help people. I gave everything I have to the orphanage. But no matter what I did, the voices inside my head..."

Ulf covered his ears. "They won't go away. That is why I'm going to war—maybe if I bleed enough, then maybe—"

"I have asked you the Three Questions. Gave you one more."

All of a sudden, Enel interrupted him. Ulf stopped, and Tiny looked at him.

"M'lord...?"

Enel stood slowly, and Ulf's eyes followed him.

“I asked you the Three Questions,” Enel repeated, his lips trembling. “I wanted... wanted one of them to save you.”

Slowly, his hand moved to his sword.

Tiny’s eyes widened. “M’lord, wait.”

Enel drew the blade anyway.

“In the name of the Sovereign of the Seven Laws…” His voice shook, and the tears did not stop. “Ulf of the East, murderer of the most innocent…”

Ulf’s face went slack.

Tiny tried to approach, his eyes darting back and forth between Enel and his sword. “Enel? M'lord...”

"There is no path that leads to your salvation." Enel raised the sword slightly. "May the Sovereign forgive you for your sins... because I cannot."

Tiny's breath became short.

“As a servant beneath His law..." Enel gritted his teeth. "Ulf of the East... I sentence you to die.”

Tiny gasped. "No, M'lord!"

Ulf's body moved on its own. His fingers rose, writing in the air.

[Tydfather, Ha—]

Before the words could glow, however, Enel grabbed his hand. The words, fading away into smoke.

Ulf held his breath, staring up at Enel. Enel stared back, tears running down his face.

For a moment, Ulf’s arm strained against his hand… then it stopped. Ulf's shoulders lowered, and the pained expression on his face withered away along with his spell.

He continued to look at Enel, and a wry smile fell on his face.

“So,” Ulf whispered. “It’s you. I...

...I am sorry it had to be you."

Enel held his breath… then drove the blade down through Ulf’s shoulder, straight into his heart.

Ulf’s body jerked once. Only once.

Enel pulled the sword free.

Ulf dropped, and a breath later, Enel’s sword slipped from his hand as his knees, too, struck the dirt.